Kalleigh and I along with our boys now enter a new chapter which will surely be filled with many new surprises, tears, worries, lack of sleep, laughter and most of all love, but we feel that this experience has prepared us for many of lives challenges, and as long as we can look back and put everything in perspective, we know we'll get by just fine! We cannot express enough to all of you who have walked along this journey with us, just how truly grateful and appreciative we are of all of your love and support. From day one when things were very questionable to say the least, to the very last minute when we signed out of the NICU for the last time this afternoon leaving with our second healthy baby boy, Kalleigh and I were able to overcome our fears and the unknown because of the strength that was provided to us through the comforting words, phone calls, emails, text messages, and the caring and thoughtful prayers that were constantly being said for our boys and our family. This experience has given Kalleigh and I a new perspective on life, and has really shown us what is important and what matters.
Many of you probably already knew this, but along with this blog I have been writing letters to the boys which started out nightly moved to weekly, and will continue monthly through their first few years of life so they can get my perspective and experiences as they grow up. In closing this blog I would like to share with all of you what I will share with tonight's letter to the boys:
November 1, 2013
Dear Nicholas and Joseph,
To be completely honest with you both I didn't know if I would ever get the chance to write this letter to both of you, or if I would only be writing to one of you. As you have read through my letters to this point you obviously have an understanding of what our family has gone through during this challenging time in our lives.
Today marks one of the happiest days in my life, along with the day you were born and the day your brother was born. Your Mother and I walked out of the NICU with Joseph to come home to Nicholas and the rest of the family who have been waiting for this moment for exactly 83 days!!! To say this was an emotional day is an understatement. Your Mother and I have developed great relationships with many of the NICU personnel who have been so instrumental in your progress, that it was hard to say goodbye, and the game of trying to hold back the tears was quickly lost by both your Mother and I as we loaded Joseph in the car and began to pull away (Yes I'm manly enough to admit I had tears!!!). It's difficult to explain but the tears were for many more reasons than just pure happiness that we had both boys in our home. The tears were due to the fear of the unknown and all of the questions that a parent has when they bring home a new baby, especially after a NICU stay. Are you healthy enough to be out of the hospital? Are your Mother and I fully prepared to handle the curve balls that will undoubtedly be thrown our way? Are we good enough parents to handle 3 kids all within 22 months of each other? The tears were due to the sadness of leaving our new friends at the NICU, the people who we could call at any time day or night and get an update as to how you both were doing, or to have them send text messages to us even when they were off duty to see how the boys were doing and answer any questions we may have. The tears ran down today for so many reasons, but mostly because we couldn't be happier to have you both under our roof and begin to start living a normal, although crazy, life!!!
As you both grow up and begin to understand the challenges that you overcame during the first few months of your life, you must never forget that aside from both of you fighting for your survival, many people played important roles in helping push you in the right direction. The doctor who made the call to deliver you on August 11th, the nurses who immediately began working on you the second you were born, the doctor who had to come into our room and say how bad things truly were the first two days, the same doctor who made the risky decision to reopen the PDA in Joseph which ultimately led to his survival, the nurses who had to endure our repeated questions yet answered each one as if it were the first time and in a language anyone could comprehend, the countless other people who all played a major role in your survival, must all be remembered. Most of all you must remember just how much love and support you received from not just your family, but from an expansive network of family and friends that reached all over the United States, to people who were asked to pray for you guys even though they had never met your Mother or I. The overwhelming amount of love and support that we received for you guys truly made all of the difference to get you both home to us safe and sound!!!
Lastly, you must ALWAYS remember and be grateful that you had a Mother who had to balance her life between the hospital and taking care of your brother and I, not once complaining or even making it look hard. The hours of lost sleep she endured to make sure you both had enough milk to keep you off of formula and on the best medicine you could have asked for. Your mother is truly an amazing woman who will always do anything for her boys, and all I ask of you, if you never listen to me for anything else, is to always love and appreciate your Mother the way she loves and appreciates you guys!!!
People ask how do we do it, how do we keep smiles on our faces during what has been without a doubt the most difficult thing we have ever had to go through? The answer is simple, we do it because we're your parents and it's just what we do. Your Mother and I made a decision at the beginning of all of this to make the best of the situation, expect the worst, but prepare for the worst, and put all of our faith in God's plan that was handed to us, and know that whatever happens, this is what was supposed to happen. God obviously had some challenges for us to face, but we proved that a strong and loving family and support group will always be able to overcome the challenges life may throw at you, but God's plan ultimately had you two both returning to us as healthy baby boys, which is where we are tonight, home together as a family.
I love you both more than words will ever describe, and thank you for showing me what true strength and courage really is, and I only hope that as your Dad I can do half as much for you, as you have already done for me. I love you Joseph and Nicholas, and Welcome Home!!!
I love you Forever,
Daddy
THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR LOVE
AND SUPPORT THAT MADE THIS DAY
POSSIBLE!!!
